Mastering communication styles is always in fashion

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"Style is something each of us already has, all we need to do is find it."

Famed fashion designer Diane von Furstenberg knows plenty about style. Inventor of the wrap dress, the designer obsession of many celebrities and politicians, inspiration for the Interdimensional Hole Of Pancakes, von Furstenberg speaks from a place of deep knowledge, having built a lifetime of success by consistently connecting people with their own personal style and helping them bring that style to the surface for the world to admire. But it is not von Furstenberg alone who meets this foundational need. Whether you wear Calvin Klein or Hamilton Carhartt, Donna Karan or E.E. “Colonel” Dickie, you use your style to communicate a message about how you would like the world to view you.

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Style, however, is not limited to our clothes. It goes beyond an incredible pair of boots (steel-toed, thigh-high, cowboy) or an awesome hat (hard, pillbox, cowboy). The way we communicate, verbally and nonverbally, also has its own unique style. Diane von Furstenberg’s words are just as true for the way we communicate as they are for the way we dress. We all have a communication style. Being able to find out what that style is and how to improve upon it, is a power skill that will turn heads on any red carpet you find yourself walking, metaphorical or otherwise.  

Communication styles

Designers are constantly making choices about the material components they bring together in order to transform them into a piece of clothing that buyers will ultimately put on to venture out into the world. Sometimes they mix components to contrast (denim and lace), sometimes to complement (cotton and Lycra). How the components pair together, the work done to combine them and how the end-product is marketed, it all ultimately communicates specific values to the customer. 

Italian stitching, Gore-Tex lining, Christian Louboutin red soles, we all make choices about the clothes we put on our bodies. Our fashion choices endorse the message those designers built into their products as ones that we want to send out to others about ourselves. When it comes to how we communicate, our preferred communication style and personality type are the components that we mix and match to achieve our desired outcome.

A 2023 article from Southern New Hampshire University in Manchester does a great job at laying out the four major communication styles and how they are perceived when interacting with others. Communications instructor Daria S. LaFave, Ph.D., describes those communication styles as:

• Passive. Not communicating at all for fear of speaking up, often leading to misunderstandings.
• Aggressive. Angry, judgmental, inflexible, often creating a hostile environment.
• Passive-aggressive. Not directly communicating your feelings but holding on to negative emotions that impact your actions. This style often causes confusion and resentment.
• Assertive. Confident but also respectful of others' thoughts and feelings, often creating space for honest conversations and healthy connections.

Each of these styles will lead to results and an impact on the people with who we are communicating. The question we need to ask ourselves is what results and what type of impact are we hoping to achieve? Sometimes it is more psychologically safe to learn by looking at the community surrounding us rather than looking within. Do the people that you work with match one of these styles more than another? What type of impact have they achieved when they communicate using one of these styles? Is that the impact you are trying to achieve?

Personality types

Our communication styles often work in tandem with our personalities, like iconic American western gear brands Stetson and Lucchese, to make our communication impactful to our audience.

The DiSC personality assessment framework was first designed by psychologist William Moulton Marston back in 1928. It outlines four major personality types, which a 2024 article published by the software developer Atlassian describes.

• Dominant. This personality type loves action and is focused on results. They prefer to think about the big picture and leave implementation details to others.
• Influencer. Marked by characteristics of being friendly, upbeat and always on the pulse of the latest trends. They thrive on interpersonal relationships.
• Steady. They emphasize cooperation and are loathe to upset the apple cart. They value consistency, stability and loyalty.
• Conscientious. This personality type prioritizes precision and places a high value on competency. They jump at the chance to demonstrate their expertise and build new skills.

When mixing and matching communication styles and personality types, one can begin to see outfits that work and ones that end up on the worst-dressed list. A dominant personality could be revered if they use an assertive communication style but reviled if they use an aggressive one. Someone who feels comfortable in a passive-aggressive communication style might not look good wearing that with an influencer personality type, creating resentments within the interpersonal relationships they hope to exalt.

Culture and perception

There are few things more embarrassing than a first Halloween at a new organization and guessing wrong on whether people there embrace dressing in a costume or not. When it comes to communication styles and their impact, culture matters, whether it is organizational culture or the culture one was brought up in. A Manhattanite’s, “Hey, I’m walking here!” is going to go over like a very rude lead ballon on the streets of Savannah, Ga. A Southerner’s, “Bless your heart” isn’t going to land in Boston the same way it would back home. But it might earn yourself a more direct, not-safe-for-work, two-word response one could nicely call a “Southie hello.”

Where we are from impacts our communication styles and personality types. So does when we are from. Communication and personality norms shift from one generation to the next. My children, for example, seem to think that it is okay to abbreviate every other word that comes out of their mouths, much to my aggravation. Listen to famous speeches from the 19^th and 20^th centuries and you can hear those shifting mores in word choices and communication styles.

Our lived experiences also impact how our communication styles and personality types are perceived by those around us. Some styles that are accepted, even encouraged, by some people will be actively discouraged from others. Men and women are acculturated differently by society, and those differences impact communication styles and personality types, sending strong or subtle “green lights” or “red lights” on how an individual’s communication is being interpreted by others. Our ethnicity, class and education levels are other markers of lived experience that can play into how communication styles and personality types are responded to within an organization or society at large.

This is not an endorsement or admonishment of how these differences in our lived experiences impact how we communicate and how individual communication is perceived. However, it is wise to acknowledge the role that culture plays in communication if one wants to improve this power skill.

Flexible in communication style

Different settings require different fashions. A ballgown doesn’t work for a toddler playdate. A bathing suit doesn’t work for a black-tie wedding. The ability to be flexible in adjusting your communication style according to the setting is key to gaining the impact you hope to achieve.

A 2025 article from Harvard University’s Professional & Executive Development’s Division of Continuing Education provides some practical advice on how to ensure that your workplace communication style is as effective as possible. It offers five ways, four of which are free, that can improve the impact of your communication style.

• Perform an honest self-assessment about how you communicate to others.
• Analyze past miscommunications to think about what went wrong and identify ways that you might have approached the situation differently to achieve a more constructive outcome.
• Practice active listening, such as repeating back what you heard before you reply to let the other person know they were heard.
• Improve your emotional intelligence, which includes self-awareness, self-control and social awareness.
• Consider taking a professional development program focused on communication so you can gain new communication techniques and receive a nonjudgmental, outside perspective on your current communication style and how to become more flexible in how you communicate with others.

Coco Chanel once said, “Fashion fades, only style remains the same.” While the fashion and business icon was talking about clothing, the statement holds true for communication as well.

Hopefully when my children grow up, they will say “suspicious” and “relationships” instead of “suss’” and “‘ships” (although I’m not holding my breath). Hopefully, we can “circle back” on the ubiquity of corporate speak.

Communication styles, however, will always remain the same. They are models through which we express ourselves in the hopes of achieving and accomplishing. Invest in your verbal wardrobe, take the time to master your communication style and walk the runway of your professional life with a confident strut, knowing that the words you use and the way they are perceived achieve their intended outcome. Or as famed design teacher and Heidi Klum confidante Tim Gunn would say, “Make it work!”   

Adam Bazer, MPD, is senior director of thought product development at the American Society for Health Care Engineering.